Britain Loves a LaughPulling a sickie
“I’m sorry, I can’t come in today *cough!* I’ve been sucked into a hole in the space continuum and I’m trapped in 1955!”
Britain is brilliant at pulling sickies. Let’s face it, we’ve all done it. When we can’t face the grind of another day slaving over the photocopier and watching the clock. When we’ve had enough of Leanne from accounts talking about her wedding. When we just can’t go on another minute staring at spreadsheets and smiling that fake smile at the boss. Call it a ‘mental health day’ if you will, but sometimes we just want to stick it to The Man and grab ourselves some valuable free time. Either that or we are actually sick.
With the average public sector worker taking on average 12 sick days a year (or Fun Days, as we should really call them), Britain is best at coming up with amazing excuses for taking a nice little one-day holiday and coming up smiling Monday morning.
Here’s a quick list of some of the best real-life sick day excuses used on British employers…
- “A chicken attacked my mother”
- “I’ve got my fingers stuck in a bowling ball”
- “I can’t come in, my glass eye fell out and I can’t find it.”
- “My house has locked me in.”
- “My sink is blocked.”
- “I’m ill in bed with my gran.”
- “A pitbull just ate my cat.”
- “A cow broke into my house.”
- “My dog tried to eat a box of staples while I was in the shower and I need to keep an eye on things.”
- “My bed broke and I’m trapped under it.”
So at the risk of getting your P45, have a little rest, especially on the first Monday of February which is statistically the day most likely for employees to phone in sick.
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By Lucy Sweet